You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
