I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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