My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize