when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
