Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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