We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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