Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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