DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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