I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
