you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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