No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
