Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
