she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
