dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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