Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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