I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
