Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
