You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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