I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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