she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
