i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
