Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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