My room smells like vodka and shame
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
