Where is the hickey?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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