Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
