So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
