You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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