You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
