I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
