Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize