wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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