i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
