She said her name was "party"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
