Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
