Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
