on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
