I can tuck mytits in my pants
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
