whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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