So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
