Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize