garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
