i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
