as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize