You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
