Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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