brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
