It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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