I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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