I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
