Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
ok first of all what the fuck
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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