just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
