I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
