She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
