You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
