You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She's the barista slut.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
