Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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