I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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