Umm I'm too high to move.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
