I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
