im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
