I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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