My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize