it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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