I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
