Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
