I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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