If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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